Look Inward for Solutions

In 1988, Michael Jackson wrote and performed Man in the Mirror with the following refrain:

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself,
And Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, AndThen Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,Na Nah)

While Michael certainly wasn't talking about sales effectiveness, his message is salient. As a lot, I find sales people to be less than introspective when it comes to figuring out what goes wrong when sales don't materialize.

"Why didn't we get this business, Mark?"
"The customer decided not to proceed with the purchase." (re: out of my control)

"Jill, to what do you attribute the loss we experienced on the Gerber account?"
"We didn't fit the specifications." (re: not my fault)

"Bob, we usually get a piece of the Northside business. What happened in June?"
"The client said we were too expensive." (re: my sales manager is an idiot)

During the last fifteen years that I've been working with account managers, I can honestly tell you that there has never been a single time that an account manager said to me anything resembling this:

"I think I blew this one, Tim. The customer gave me every indication that we were okay but I didn't ask the specific questions that would have revealed an unspoken objection. Unfortunately, I was just off my game and it cost us the business."

Why haven't I heard this confession? Certainly, we can all agree that something like this has been true at least once during the last fifteen years! Here are some reasons that I've come up with:

1) Sales people typically have big egos and admitting mistakes or failures is difficult for their personality types

2) Most sales managers don't create an atmosphere in which this type of admission would be met with understanding and consolation

3) Very few people look inward for solutions to challenges created by human interaction.

The vast majority of all people, not just sellers, look outward and blame circumstances beyond their control or some abherrant behavior by others for less than optimal results in their interactions. e.g. My boss just doesn't understand me; my wife doesn't listen; there's something wrong with my kids (But, I think we can all agree on that one!); etc.

Eventually, those of us who have matured, set aside the need to blame others and begin to look at the man in the mirror. The question to ask is,

"What can I do differently next time to get a better result?"

Wishing and hoping that the other people involved in our sales transactions will do something different is foolish and unproductive. The only person's behavior of which you have control is your own.

We all know that and yet we find it difficult and painful to admit that we must change our own behaviors in order to get different results. When we begin to know that - to really know that - we can begin the introspection required to make some changes.

Sellers who learn to admit that losses are influenced by their own behaviors and are sometimes their fault entirely will develop additional selling skills through introspection. This sort of emotional maturity is not only refreshing in an account manager, the growth in skills associated with this development allows a seller to work with and persuade a much larger group of people.

So, if you want to be a better seller, start with the man in the mirror and ask him to make a change.